User talk:Rotten Thoughts
EmpyrealInvective (talk) 12:18, July 6, 2017 (UTC) Re: Story Starting with the basics, this was how a majority of your story was formatted. " Lo, the sound of yonder screaming when once I lay in heavy dreaming. Upon the latch, I sit up staring when a chill crawls through the skin I'm wearing. A nd such a chill to make me ill. It breaks my will to remain still. ". To avoid this, please use source mode when posting a story. Mechanical issues: There are quite a lot of spacing ("A nd (And) such a chill to make me ill."), punctuation (commas missing where needed. "I lift my lantern the hinges squeaking.", "I crack the door(comma missing) slowly sneaking, enough to begin my timid peeking.", "I open the door two eyes were glaring.", "Now all seems well the dawn is nearing.", etc.), spelling ("I come to a door on the nob (knob) I'm staring. (additionally awkwardly worded)"), capitalization ("teeming. upon my cheeks, my eyes were tearing and the horrible demon was laughing and jeering.", "condemned me to fear for my nosy peering.", etc. ), and awkward wording ("condemned me to fear for my nosy peering.","I come to a door on the nob", "But the back of my neck something is licking.", etc.) issues here. On top of that, there're additionally problems with the poem itself. Overuse of forced/slant rhymes: "A nd such a chill to make me ill. / It breaks my will to remain still." and "Perhaps it's a kettle merely steaming, or better a branch on the window streaking. And in my terror, I find I’m needing a place of refuge from yonder screaming.". Awkward rhymes like these tend to break the flow of the poem and impact the rhythm negatively. You also abandon the rhyme scheme at points in the story ("The flesh of the dead it was happily heaping. And in all the room the roaches were teeming. upon my cheeks, my eyes were tearing and the horrible demon was laughing and jeering.") which tends to create an awkward dissonance. Additionally you have a tendency to change up sentences to force lines to rhyme which tends to really break the lyrical quality of the poem. "This was the subject of his baleful sneering. And my mind from body he seemed to be sheering" and "Now all seems well the dawn is nearing. The candle is lighting and the shadows are flighting. The pipes are groaning and the walls are moaning. The clock is ticking and the flame is flicking. But the back of my neck something is licking." are good examples of this. As we tend to get a lot of poetry (of varying quality), we have had to tighten up our standards recently or ban poetry in its entirety (we also went through and deleted a couple hundred poems that had a lot of the issues outlined above). I'm sorry, but this poem was not up to quality standards for this site due to its spacing, spelling, capitalization, punctuation, number of forced rhymes, awkward wording, as well as its issues with rhythm and flow. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:42, July 6, 2017 (UTC)